During Service #2

        This week was a lot different than the last time we visited the family. Since, we were able to change our schedule for visiting we are now able to work in a more closed environment without a bunch of children running around. It was most different for me because the first time I spent most, if not all, of my time working with the young kids. Now, we are able to go to their apartment where our family lives. I did not quite know what to expect because I knew that this would be nothing like the last visit we made, especially because it was our first time without Kelly. I also, was not sure which family at the past house was the family that we would be working with for the rest of our time. As soon as the mother opened the door I recognized her and then I saw their children, which were the main focus of the end of our visit the last time. This time, we were able to meet their father although we do not get to converse with the parents as much as I had hoped. 

        When, we first sat down we asked them if they remembered our names. At first they called me Amy, but did not know any other names. After we told them what our names really were, we went over their names. The father's name is Nei, the mother's name Dawt, the daughter is Sui and the son is Do. The only one I remembered was Do because it was fairly easy and for some reason the name stuck in my brain. He was also the one who seemed to learn faster and in turn be more talkative. When the name game was said and done we started by playing the card game, Go Fish. I noticed that it was only us and the children that were sitting around the table and I asked the parents if they wanted to play too. Right away Do said no for them, but then I asked the parents directly and they also said no. I could see the Looking-Glass Self coming out in the parents very clearly. The Looking-Glass Self how we construct ourselves through who we are supposed to be around certain people. Because they were around their kids they behaved in a way that they believe that their children view them. They are trying to keep the image to their kids that they are wiser and more powerful because they are older.  Not participating in the games and activities we were doing gave them the ability to not have their children see them struggling with the new language. Since they believe that their children look up to them, they did not want to show them weakness by being told their were wrong by us college students who are also younger. However, I could still see them sneaking in some peaks of our activities and showing how they actually were very eager to learn, just not with their children around.

        We did some more work with the book and I began to pay more attention to the daughter Sui. Even though Do was the one doing most of the talking, I could still see Sui trying her best to learn English. She was focusing very hard on the pictures that we were pointing to. I also noticed that her clothing was actually very stylish. The mother wore a traditional looking, long skirt and Sui was in jeans and a nice shirt. Later on, we asked them to write out their names, birth dates, and their address. The first thing that I noticed while I was watching Sui write her name was that she started her name with a "j". I wrote it off because I thought that maybe the letters are pronounced differently in their language. When she was finished, with her writing I took another look at her name and noticed that she wrote out "Jen" as her name. That was when I realized that Sui was trying to assimilate with our culture. Assimilation is when a person of one culture takes in a new cultures beliefs, values, and norms. She probably thought that when people heard her name Sui it would link her back to being Burmese like she is. I think that more than anything she just wants to fit in with the norms that we have here in America. She wants to push away her old life to make a new one here. Changing her name to "Jen" was her first step to assimilating and becoming a normal kid in the United States. 

        Our next visit two days later, Sui was very sick and stayed in bed. I am guessing Dawt was taking care of her because she was not present that day either. It was just Nei, Do, and us and our plan was to make a good old pan of brownies. We went through measurements and the words for the different utensils that we needed in order to make the brownies. While they were baking we went over some more pages in a book and we even had him read a children's book to us. after each page I would ask him a question about what he read so he could get used to and practice understanding along with reading. When, we took out the brownies and tried to cut them up we realized they were not quite how we wanted them to be. Since we did not give enough time to bake them, they were a little bit under cooked. Instead of each getting one piece of the brownies, we all shared a pile of brownie mush. it was nice to have some god laughs with Do and see him having fun with us too. While we were eating, I used ethnorelativism when Do got us some drinks to go along with the brownies. Ethnorelativism is the belief that all cultures normal and their behaviors are appropriate from their perspective. He asked us if we wanted water and we all said yes, but then he said that it was not hot. I did not understand what he was saying until I looked at the tea kettle that he was about to use to heat up the water. Instead of laughing or making any strange face I just told him that it was okay. In my head I went through reasons why he would think that the water would be hot. In America we drink the water cold, but maybe in Burma they drink it hot or water to him was considered some sort of tea. Instead, he got us Mountain Dew which was also a strange combinations, however, I went along with it and drank it anyways. 

        In future visits, I can use what I know about the parent's Looking-Glass Self to try to show them what activities we are doing. Instead of keeping the learning to the kids only I can try to let the parents see what we are doing so they can learn more through observation and not have to compromise how their children identify them. Also, with Sui I am going to start to call her Jen as she had written on the paper. I also feel that it would be a good idea to teach her separate from Do. i noticed that Do answers our questions before Sui has a chance to think and respond. Maybe, if I were to give her that time that she needs i can help her assimilate as she wants to and become a part of our culture. This was the first time but definitely will not be the last time that I will have to use ethnorelativism while working with the family. It is important that I keep in mind that they were not raised and do not have the same background as I do. The last thing that I want to do is deter them from learning and deter myself from teaching because of a misunderstanding and judgement of how they behave turning into a conflict between us.